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  • Gigi

Beginner's guide to your first time

Updated: Aug 18, 2022

So you’ve decided you want to have sex with someone (however you define that) for the first time. Great!

Gigi is here to give you some advice that you might not have gotten elsewhere. Making your sexual debut can be intimidating, even nerve wracking, but lucky for you, here I am!

  • You always have a choice.

  • It might be awkward, but it's so important to talk about what's going to happen beforehand and what you're comfortable with doing.

  • Sex isn’t just a penis in a vagina. There’s oral 👄, anal 🍑, and manual ✋ (think hand stuff) to name a few others. Sex is however you want to define it

  • It doesn’t have to hurt, though there may be some temporary discomfort as your body reacts to what’s going on. If you are planning on having penetrative or manual sex, then you should get lubricant (lube) for maximum comfort and pleasure! Condoms often have it already but using ample lube can help keep you and your partner(s) safe and comfy! You can get it at the drug store or a student health center — I recommend water-based lube overall (watch out for ingredients like glycerin and glycerol). If you have ongoing pain, talk to your doctor.

  • Protection isn’t just a condom on a penis — dental dams and internal condoms are some other barrier methods to prevent the transmission of STIs. For contraception, talk to your doctor to find out what the best option is for you — it might be the pill, an IUD, an implant, etc. Your doctor can talk you through your options and help you make an informed decision.

  • Your first time in general or your first time with someone new is likely to be clumsy and that’s ok! Being able to laugh through the process with your partner(s) can be part of the fun!!! Sex isn’t perfect, it isn’t exact, and it isn’t always going to go off without a hitch — it all comes with the territory.

  • Establish what you are/aren’t comfortable with before any clothes come off. This establishes expectations so everyone is on the same page.

  • Speak up if something doesn’t feel right/good or if you’re experiencing pain. It’s ok to ask for what you want/need… if you need a water break or different stimulation, go for it!

  • Having sex doesn’t change who you are. You are worthy, exquisite, and perfect no matter what you do or don’t do.

  • Sex is an ongoing choice. You have the right to change your mind at any point and so does your partner(s).

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